Even if Charlie Sheen stays -- who should replace him?

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Sources tell People that Charlie Sheen is leaving ‘Two and a Half Men.’ Show Tracker says Sheen’s people are probably posturing in the middle of contract negotiations. And TMZ’s sources are apparently riotously laughing -- we have a visual of guys with shot glasses and cigars, clapping one another firmly on the back -- over the idea that Sheen’s contract would be settled even a second before CBS announces its fall lineup in May.

The Ministry realizes that the only way to get anything of substance out of this kerfuffle is with a nonscientific online poll. However, we don’t really care whether Sheen comes back; what our Division of Absolutely Accurate Statistics is yearning to learn is, who should replace him if he leaves?

You know, if he maybe has somewhere else to go ...

-- Christie D’Zurilla

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