Arizona Is Pride of the Southwest : THE COLLEGES

The Land of the ‘Zonies is experiencing a victory drought. Arizona State has dropped three in a row. Even Missouri and Cal have kicked desert sand into the Sun Devils’ faces.

Arizona suffered the embarrassment of ending Oregon State’s nine-game losing streak. The Mildcats, who were 21-point favorites, won Comedown of the Week Honors by falling to the Bruisin’ Beavers by 14, a 35-point turnaround.

Then there are the Phoenix Cardinals, who snapped their own losing string only because they had the good fortune to come up against the sad-sack Dallas Cowboys and Coach Jimmy (Now, Which Quarterback Was That I Traded?) Johnson.

Elsewhere in the Southwest, Texas Tech (2-4) dropped out of the Bottom Ten with a 49-44 upset victory over Arkansas, but Tech Coach Spike Dykes admitted that money he pocketed may have played a part. Dykes said he was blessed with good fortune because he found a penny on the goal line. The NCAA is reserving comment.

RANKINGS

Team, Record Last Loss Next Loss 1. Ariz. St. (2-3) 24-31, Cal Oregon 1.Arizona (4-2) 21-25, Ore St USC 1. Phoenix (2-3) D. Dallas, 20-3 Giants 4. North’rn (1-4) 25-35, Minn. Wisc’n 5.Wis.’s auditor $726,000* ??? 6.Alabama (2-3) Idle Tennessee 7.Big Ten refs D. Mich., 28-27 ** 8. N. Mex St (0-6) 20-24, UNLV Pacific 9. Boston (0-4) 1-3, A’s Idle 10.Ohio St (2-2-1)*** T. Ind., 27-27 Purdue

*Wisconsin discovered an accounting error of about $726,000 in the university’s sports budget.

**In protective custody.

***Still winless in October.

11-12. Tie between Miami’s pregame and game-time behavior; 13. Syracuse (2-2-2) (tied with itself); 14. Oklahoma State (2-4); 15. The addition of still another postseason game--the Blockbuster Bowl; 16. Columbia (0-5) or Brown (0-5); 17. Washington State (2-4); 18. Idle; 19. Tie between Karpov and Kasparov.

QUOTEBOOK: National columnist Norman Chad, after hearing ABC’s Tim Brant speak of Syracuse QB’s Marvin Graves’ “outstanding mobility” and “great escapability”: “I have little understandability of Brant.”

QUOTEBOOK: Miami Coach Dennis Erickson, after his team’s brawl against Kansas: “You won’t see any of that at Notre Dame.” (Of course not--Notre Dame fights in a larger weight division than Kansas.)

THE PROS

Enough negative talk about the Rams (1-4). Here are 10 reasons why Ram Coach John Robinson can smile:

1. He doesn’t have to run 47 Gap himself, as Eric Dickerson once pointed out; 2. Dieter Brock isn’t his quarterback; 3. No one’s blaming him for the latest disastrous team draft;

4. His team is very profitable, which is all his owner cares about; 5. The Raiders are diverting attention from the Rams; 6. “The John Robinson Show” isn’t up against “The Simpsons”;

7. His defense’s ranking can’t sink any lower than 28th; 8. He gets to play Dallas in five weeks; 9. He won’t have to meet the 49ers in the playoffs; 10. The Rams are undefeated in Germany this year.

RANKINGS

LOUD-MOUTH DIVISION

Mouth, Record Last Loss Next Loss 1. J. Glanville (2-3) 35-45, S.F. L.A. Lambs 2. B. Ryan (2-3) Def. Minn, 32-24 Wash’ton 3. J. McMahon (0-0) Idle* Idle

*Except for duty as fetcher of kicking tees. TURNAROUND DIVISION

Team ’90 Rec. ’89 Rec.* 1. L.A. Lambs 1-4 5-0 2. Minnehaha 1-4 3-2 3. Denver 2-4 4-1 4. Bay (Green) 2-4 3-2

*This time last year.

CRUMMY: Atlanta (2-3) at L.A. Lambs (1-4).

QUOTEBOOK: TNT broadcaster Kenny Stabler’s description of 260-pound Chief running back Christian Okoye plowing through a Detroit defender: “A pickup truck running over a rooster.”

QUOTEBOOK II: NBC’s Will McDonough, on the contention of the Patriots’ Irving Fryar that 80% of the team’s players carry guns: “They can’t go on the road. They won’t get through the metal detectors.”