RESTAURANT REVIEW / THE TEE-OFF : Food of the ‘50s : There is really only one piece of beef to order here--prime rib.

Jump on board. It’s nostalgia time.

In Santa Barbara, though, when it comes to restaurants, it depends on just how nostalgic you want to get.

The Casa de Sevilla, home of the city’s Old Guard, has been around since 1926.

Joe’s Cafe, on lower State Street, came in about two years later, and Arnoldi’s Cafe, down on the lower East Side, opened in 1939.

If you’re a child of the 1950s (and by “child” I mean that you “came of age” or went through adolescence then), probably the spot you’d identify with is the Tee-Off.

Set in a row of storefronts on upper State Street, this old faithful has been dishing out its specialties since the mid-1950s.

It doesn’t look as though much has changed since it opened its doors--there are golf clubs on the walls, vinyl booths, red-jacketed waiters and an especially potent bar.

What the Tee-Off does is serve its customers a lot of meat.

If you don’t believe that the Tee-Off is a ‘50s place, all you’ve got to do is take a look at the relish tray.

None of these little crackers with pate, no spoonfuls of cold pasta salad or slices of smoked salmon.

Here, it’s a plate heaped with pure simplicity--radishes, carrots, celery and green onions.

Then comes another symbol of the era: a salad of iceberg lettuce, covered with the usual choice of dressings.

For me, it would seem almost sacrilegious in this citadel of the ‘50s to order anything other than Thousand Island.

Especially after once trying the ranch dressing, which is the most popular they tell me, but which seems awfully watery.

When the meat comes, it’s accompanied by the perennial baked or french fried potatoes and a small pile of forgettable vegetables.

On the menu are also a couple of fish choices, some fettuccine ($10.50) and lobster (market price), but the main thing here is the beef--and perhaps the chicken.

And really, there’s only one piece of beef to order here--it is the one almost everyone comes for. This is the place to go for prime rib ($16).

For good reason. It’s a hefty serving, you can get it nice and rare or--God forgive me for even mentioning this possibility--well-done.

Because the restaurant serves so much of the cut, it’s fairly easy to order it on the bone, or to get an end cut.

If it turns out that prime rib is not your thing, the Tee-Off boasts some of the best chicken in town. The fried version ($11) comes in a light, seasoned batter made on the premises.

It is moist and dripping and not at all greasy.

The baked version ($11) is just as good, done in a variety of spices and herbs, including basil, garlic, white pepper, butter and wine.

The secret to each of these dishes is that the kitchen has not overcooked the chicken.

Curiously, I’d avoid the steaks--even though this is a spot which specializes in meat.

On at least two occasions I’ve found the 18-ounce porterhouse ($16) to be tough and flavorless.

Also, forget the cheesecake on the dessert menu. It has no redeeming qualities.

* WHERE AND WHEN

Tee-Off, 3627 State St., Santa Barbara, 687-1616. Dinner daily from 5 p.m. Major credit cards accepted, reservations accepted. Full bar. Dinner for two, food only, $22-$60.