COLLEGE FOOTBALL / GENE WOJCIECHOWSKI : They Might Be Our Winners, but Not All Will Be Honored

Avoid the postseason awards rush and open our envelopes first. Letter openers poised? Ready . . . begin.

PLAYER OF THE YEAR

The nominees:

Quarterback Gino Torretta, Miami; running back Marshall Faulk, San Diego State; running back Reggie Brooks, Notre Dame; linebacker Marvin Jones, Florida State; running back Garrison Hearst, Georgia.

The comments:

Torretta--Nothing against Torretta, but he probably isn’t the best player on his own team, much less the nation. And enough with the argument that he deserves a Heisman based on his four-year career. This isn’t the Irving G. Thalberg Memorial Award for lifetime achievement, and if it were, John Elway, Jim McMahon and Archie Manning would deserve one of the statuettes before Torretta.

Faulk--Had he not suffered a series of late-season injuries, Faulk might have come close to 2,000 yards. Despite missing the Aztecs’ final two games, he still led the country in rushing. A remarkable player on an unremarkable team.

Brooks--Brooks’ early-season touchdown run against Michigan remains the best play of the year. And it is Brooks, not preseason Heisman favorites/teammates Jerome Bettis and Rick Mirer, who is mostly responsible for Notre Dame’s 9-1-1 record and pending Orange or Cotton Bowl invitation.

Jones--If ever a defensive player deserved a Heisman, this is the one.

Hearst--He isn’t as flashy as Faulk or as quick as Brooks, but he might be the most complete running back in the game.

And the winner is . . . Marvin Jones. The standard by which all other players should be judged this season.

COACH OF THE YEAR

The nominees:

R.C. Slocum, Texas A&M; Dennis Erickson, Miami; Gene Stallings, Alabama; Larry Smith, USC; Tom Rossley, Southern Methodist; Bill Walsh, Stanford.

The comments:

Slocum--Associated Press voters be damned. Slocum’s Aggies, who deserve the No. 3 ranking, by the way, won 12 regular-season games despite the absence of a dependable quarterback.

Erickson--Neither rain, Pell grant scandal, no running game, injuries nor big-time schedule can keep Erickson from guiding the Hurricanes to swift completion of their appointed rounds.

Stallings--See Slocum.

Smith--Just kidding.

Rossley--The Mustangs were 1-10 last year. This season they finished 5-6, including victories over Houston, Arkansas, New Mexico and Texas Christian. It might not sound like much to you, but this was a program without a pulse a few years ago.

Walsh--We won’t mention the word genius. We will mention the Cardinal’s 9-3 record and its share of the Pacific 10 Conference title--all in Walsh’s first year back on the sideline.

And the winner is . . . Dennis Erickson. If Miami wins many more national championship rings, Erickson’s hand is going to look as if he wears brass knuckles.

FRANK BROYLES DUNDERHEAD-OF-THE-YEAR AWARD

The nominees:

Corey Johnson, Colorado State athletic director; Lou Holtz, Notre Dame coach; Jackie Sherrill, Mississippi State coach; Bill McCartney, Colorado coach.

The comments:

Johnson--If Ram Coach Earle Bruce struck players and violated NCAA practice rules as charged, then Johnson had just cause to hand him a pink slip. But only the most naive Bruce-watcher would think his fire-and-brimstone tactics were born in 1992. Bruce has always been an aggressive, physical disciplinarian who coaches the old-fashioned way. Funny, you didn’t hear any complaints about his methods when he was leading Colorado State to its first bowl game in years.

Holtz--The man who coached the Irish to nine victories also managed to suppress the talents of Mirer, botch the final minutes of the Michigan game, rush onto the field so he could put a mock headlock on a referee, trade postgame unpleasantries with NBC sideline reporter John Dockery and actually try to convince America that then-winless Navy was to be feared.

Sherrill--For what it’s worth, the castrated bull--that makes him a steer--casts his vote for Sherrill.

McCartney--Never one to shy away from controversy, McCartney actively supported the efforts of Coloradans for Family Values, an organization whose efforts helped persuade voters to pass a state constitutional amendment that repealed laws designed to protect homosexuals from discrimination.

And the winner is . . . Bill McCartney. McCartney too often uses the popularity of his position at a state-supported school to promote his personal beliefs.

FLOP OF THE YEAR

The nominees:

The Big Ten, San Diego State, Rick Mirer, Clemson, Oklahoma, USC, Arizona, Penn State.

The comments:

Big Ten--Put it this way: The Western Athletic Conference has five teams in bowl games, the Big Ten three.

San Diego State--At season’s beginning, SDSU players wore T-shirts that read, “No Fear.” A better choice might have been, “No Class.” Three brawls in two games didn’t do much for Al Luginbill’s reputation. Nor did a 5-5-1 record and a defense that gave up 25 or more points seven times.

Mirer--He swears he doesn’t regret coming back for his senior season. We believe him. Now then, does he regret going to run-happy Notre Dame?

Clemson--The Tigers were supposed to challenge Florida State for the Atlantic Coast Conference title. Instead, they finished 5-6 and lost to the likes of Maryland and archrival South Carolina.

Oklahoma--Another year like this one--5-4-2, no bowl and a mini player revolt--and Coach Gary Gibbs will be introduced to the exciting career possibilities of life insurance.

USC--Poised perfectly for a run at the Rose Bowl or Fiesta Bowl, the Trojans lost three of their last four games and ended up in Anaheim’s Freedom Bowl. Along the way, they blew a game against a mediocre UCLA team and blew a lead against the Irish, marking the 10th consecutive loss to Notre Dame.

Arizona--After upsetting then-No. 1 Washington, the Wildcats lost their remaining two games and finished 6-4-1.

Penn State--Even Coach Joe Paterno was guilty of thinking the Nittany Lions could win a national championship. Now they’ll be lucky to beat probable opponent Stanford in the Blockbuster Bowl.

And the winner is . . . the Big Ten. Never have so many accomplished so little.

THE CHARLES KEATING FINANCIAL ACUMEN AWARD

The nominees:

Billy Joe Hobert, former Washington quarterback; unidentified Hancock Bowl representative.

The comments:

Hobert--Not our first choice to manage a money-market account, but if you need $50,000 worth of automobiles, guns and fine meals, this is your guy.

Hancock on-site representative--Imagine Arizona’s surprise when it ended its season with a loss to Arizona State and still received an invitation from the bowl rep to play in the Hancock. Imagine how fast the Wildcats said yes. Imagine the surprise of Hancock officials back in El Paso when their on-site bowl rep told them the news. That’s right--he never consulted with the fellas back at the home office, who were more interested in inviting Washington State.

And the winner is . . . Billy Joe Hobert. His spending spree probably cost him the rest of his collegiate career, hurt his viability as a professional quarterback and left Coach Don James without the option of two experienced starters to choose from. Not surprisingly, the Huskies lost two of three games after Hobert’s suspension.

BEST NEW RULE

The nominee:

The NCAA’s decision to require at least six Division I-A victories to qualify for postseason play.

The comment:

Teams such as Texas, which played Division I-AA North Texas, and Rice, which played Division I-AA Sam Houston, each won six games, but are bowl no-shows--and rightfully so--because they padded their schedule with easy victories. Meanwhile, Southwest Conference fellow member Baylor is going to a bowl--the aforementioned Hancock--because Coach Grant Teaff was smart enough to replace Arkansas with another Division I-A school, Georgia Tech. Teams shouldn’t be rewarded for stepping down in class.

And the winner is . . . the NCAA (and the bowls).

NEWCOMER OF THE YEAR

The nominees:

Walsh, Stanford coach; Nevada; Tamarick Vanover, Florida State wide receiver and kickoff returner; quarterback Steve Taneyhill, South Carolina; Florida State; SEC championship game; quarterback Jimmy Klingler, Houston; the bowl coalition.

The comments:

Walsh--It was as if he had never left.

Nevada--The Wolf Pack, a Division I-AA team last year, joined the Big West and promptly won the conference title and an automatic bid to the Las Vegas Bowl.

Vanover--Florida is still trying to figure out a way to tackle this elusive freshman.

Taneyhill--Looks like Jon Bon Jovi, plays like Joe Bon Namath. Taneyhill, another freshman, said the Gamecocks wouldn’t lose another game if he were the quarterback. He was almost right. South Carolina won five of six, including their first victory at Clemson since 1984.

Florida State--The ACC, which the Seminole football team joined this season, still doesn’t know what hit it.

SEC championship game--The reason the SEC expanded to 12 teams and two divisions. Also the reason the SEC will need a forklift to move all the money it will make from the game.

Jimmy Klingler--Good enough to make Houston Coach John Jenkins the most hated man in college football again.

The Bowl Coalition--Its motto: “Keeping America safe from a national playoff system.” Actually, the bowl alliance formula guarantees a game between No. 1 Miami and No. 2 Alabama (or Florida State, if the Crimson Tide loses Saturday to Florida in the SEC championship game).

And the winner is . . . the SEC championship game. If it succeeds--and there’s no reason why it shouldn’t be a financial success--every other conference in the country will think about doing the same thing.

THANKS FOR STOPPING BY THE BOOTH AWARD

The nominees:

Jack Crowe and Joe Kines, Arkansas; Johnny Majors, Tennessee; Jerry Berndt, Temple; Paul Hackett, Pittsburgh.

The comments:

Crowe and Kines--Leave it to the master of overreaction, Arkansas Athletic Director Frank Broyles, to have three football coaches in less than five months. Broyles fired Crowe after an opening loss to The Citadel and replaced him with Kines. He also hired former Clemson coach Danny Ford as a consultant-assistant coach. Of course, Ford insisted he wasn’t the least bit interested in succeeding Crowe or Kines. In other words, the job was his. At least Kines, who began the season as Arkansas’ defensive coordinator, got his old job back.

Majors--A good coach who picked a bad time to demand a contract extension.

Berndt--It is never a good sign when Temple alum Bill Cosby wields more influence than the coach himself. Cosby has dipped into petty cash twice so that Temple could buy out a coach.

Hackett--Some men are destined for greatness. Others are destined to be offensive coordinators.

And the winner is . . . Crowe and Kines. Once a Razorback, always a Razorback--until Broyles decides otherwise.