This beats all: Too often we hear...

This beats all: Too often we hear complaints about local government ignoring the requests of constituents. As if further proof was needed, a City Hall source passed along the paperwork for the recent LeatherFest L.A. ’95 celebration.

It seems that a rep for LeatherFest appealed to Councilwoman Jackie Goldberg to close a street in Hollywood for a weekend for the benefit of “the multicultural diversity of citizens . . . who are interested in the Leather/SM/Fetish lifestyle.”

SM, in this case, stands for sadomasochism, not Santa Monica.

Anyway, inasmuch as LeatherFest is picking up the tab for the costs, Goldberg pushed through a motion approving the request.

Which strikes us as cruel treatment of the LeatherFest people by City Hall.

Why?

Obviously, the masochists would have derived more pleasure if their request had been turned down. Why deny them the pain of rejection?

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Endorsed by Humpty Dumpty, no doubt: Reader B. Ngai forwarded an ad for some “slightly damaged goods” that might make for a messy breakfast.

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Mind if I don’t smoke?We attended boxing matches in the Olympic Auditorium in the 1960s and 1970s when the atmosphere was so smoky that we assumed every boxer wore gray shorts. But, as we mentioned the other day, even the Olympic outlaws lighting up in these squeaky-clean ‘90s.

That brought a note from Rick Hacker, author of “The Ultimate Cigar Book.” He points out that no such prohibition will be in effect during the March 8 “Celebrity Smoker” at the Friars Club in Beverly Hills. You can smoke all you want while eating dinner and watching five boxing matches. Tickets are $275 per person. “But,” points out Hacker, “you do get a free cigar.”

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Attention, LeatherFest!A reader forwarded us a sales pitch she received from the Embassy Suites Resort in Lake Tahoe. The letter listed the hotel’s special facilities, including “vice mail.”

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Here’s the poop: Some clarification may be needed regarding the tacky gifts we’ll be sending to Ron Spiller, Kathleen Vanillo and the other winners in our latest contest. They’re the readers who selected ex-Replacement President Gerald Ford to throw out the first pitch of a replacement player season and Milli Vanilli to “sing” the national anthem.

But C. H. Mont of Burbank notes that among the treasures we inventoried in Only in L.A.’s Cave of Wonders were a T-shirt that says, “Thank You for Keeping Your Pet on a Leash” and a 1995 “Super Scooper” calendar. Mont wondered whether the two items pertained to the same activity. We just want to assure him that the calendar features photos of airplanes, not ground deposits.

miscelLAny A colleague found a designer doggie drink in a South Pasadena store. “Thirsty Dog” is vitamin- and mineral- enriched with a “crispy beef flavor.” But can it match the tangy taste of good old-fashioned gutter water?