In Judging Fun, Child Is Father to the Man

Thinking back on my lost summers of boyhood, I see wasted opportunities, whole weeks consumed by sloth.

I had a great time.

During daylight, hours were spent either in bed, at the movies, in front of the tube or outside bouncing a ball off the stoop. It was a totally worthless experience, but at least I avoided stress and the use of my brain.

Had I lived in some totalitarian country, I would have been forced to take piano lessons, read serious literature and learn a useful hobby like gardening, car repair or massage therapy.

But I live in America, where fun is encouraged and cultivated among teen-agers, especially during summer vacation, mainly to keep them out of trouble.

Staff writer Ken McAlpine suggested this week’s Centerpiece on summer activities for kids. He says he felt a deep need to prevent the youth of Ventura County from getting bored stiff, but we think McAlpine just wanted to visit all these fun places himself.

And who could blame him?

So high was the amusement potential for this story that McAlpine and his two young cohorts-in-fun had difficulty paring their itinerary from several dozen entertaining attractions to only five.

“We wanted to stray a bit beyond the conventional day at the beach, night at Magic Mountain,” McAlpine said. “Much research of a difficult nature was undertaken to come up with a list that represented state-of-the-art fun--as well as destinations that we could reach in a single day.”

McAlpine originally was going to do the one-day Fun-o-rama by himself or with a fellow adult, but then realized how hopelessly unqualified he was to see the world through a kid’s eyes.

“I am by definition an adult and thus no longer know what I should about summer fun,” McAlpine said. “It only made sense to get experts. Which is why I ended up with two 13-year-olds.”

The teens proved able funmates, but the boy and the girl--strangers before the expedition--constantly bickered and teased like, well, boys and girls. They gave McAlpine, the father of two tykes, a nervous glimpse into his own future.

“Having two kids under 3 is a fair bit of work, but I figured it would sort of ease off from there,” McAlpine said. “Now I know the real work lies ahead.”

When the trip was over, McAlpine said, he came to three conclusions: “I can’t ice-skate. I don’t understand 13-year-olds. And Metallica makes my ears bleed.”