Open Houses

bait v. lure open-house attendee to sign with an agent.

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caravan n. Tuesday open houses held for real estate agents only.

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exile n. homeowner banished during the open house.

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fizzbo n. derived from FSBO, “For Sale By Owner.”

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flat product n. house in the flats of Beverly Hills.

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4-slam v. lock the front door at the stroke of 4 o’clock. “Nobody came to the caravan so I 4-slammed.”

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F.U. abbr. fixer-upper. Origin obvious.

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Sally Snoop/Sammy Snoop n. people who attend open houses solely to rifle through the sellers’ possessions. rel. tire kicker n. snoop who opens every closet and inspects every corner of a house he or she has no intention of buying.

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pico adj. telltale dowdiness of individuals touring million-dollar homes they can’t afford. “Those tire-kickers were so pico; they should be over in the Valley sniffing at zizes and F.U.s.”

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prey book n. sign-in sheet from which agents pull names of prospective buyers.

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sit on v. hold an open house. “I had to sit on that Taco Bell for three Sundays and I couldn’t even bait a Sally Snoop.”

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sniff v. tour an open house.

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Taco Bell n. cosmetically challenged, tough-sell home.

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ziz n. from “as is.” House sold in current, usually not great, condition.