LAUGH LINES

It’s All for Show: “According to the Washington Post, Kathie Lee Gifford may get her own sitcom on CBS. . . . There’s also talk that her husband, Frank Gifford, may also get his own show. . . . I think it’s going to be called “Touched by a Flight Attendant.” (Andrew Wisot)

Good Practice: “ ‘Survivors’ [contestants] are getting serious. . . . They’re eating rats and turning on each other. . . . When it’s all over, the last one left should be fully qualified to run for public office.” (Kenny Noble Cortes)

Going Abroad: “President Clinton is shopping for a home . . . in England, near Oxford, where he went to school. Apparently for two reasons: One, he is considering a teaching job there at Oxford. . . . And two, it is about as far away as he can get from Hillary without learning a new language.” (Bill Maher)

That’s the Buzz: “Flies have invaded the town of Naples in New York. . . . Apparently, the assistant manager at the local multiplex left the theater’s copies of ‘Battlefield Earth’ outside to be picked up.” (Ira Lawson)

Caught on Tape: “All that [Lakers] riot stuff is a huge misunderstanding. . . . Turns out Laker fans were being filmed for a new episode of CBS’ ‘Survivor.’ ” (Cortes)

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, 90012.