CHRIS DUFRESNE’S TOP 25

1. Oklahoma (8-0) Switzer gets dizzy, has to sit, after trying to figure out BCS rankings.

2. Miami (7-1) Gov. Jeb Bush boldly predicts Miami will prevail in a BCS computer rankings recount.

3. Florida State (9-1) Bowden fortune cookie reads, “Tiny pebble in oil pan can ruin entire BCS engine.”

4. Oregon (8-1) Look, it’s UCLA’s amazing 1998 season dressed in gawd-awful uniforms.

5. Washington (8-1) Dick Tomey cracks an astrology book to see what lucky star Neuheisel was born under.

6. Florida (8-1) Spurrier and Holtz meet at midfield to compare national title mood rings.

7. Nebraska (8-1) Rep. Tom Osborne (R-Neb.) declares Saturday “Beat Kansas State Day.”

8. Oregon State (8-1) Erickson blames “Nader Factor” for siphoning off key Associated Press poll votes.

9. Purdue (7-2) Fans planning first Rose Bowl trip since ’67 shocked to hear that Marineland has closed.

10. Virginia Tech (8-1) Michael Vick on one leg proved to be one slow-poke Hokie.

11. Northwestern (7-2) ‘Cats made sure to hand Michigan players their hats on the way out of town.

12. Notre Dame (6-2) Funny, isn’t it, how Bob Davie ended up as the guy with job security.

13. Ohio State (7-2) Based on recent film, team thinks it can score more than 75 on Michigan.

14. South Carolina (7-2) “Crocodile Hunter” Steve Irwin hired to lead Gamecocks into Florida Swampland.

15. Clemson (8-2) Daddy always told Tommy there would be 54-7 days like those.

16. Texas (7-2) With Applewhite hurt, Simms earns his first legitimate start of the season.

17. Georgia (6-2) UGA leads crowd in rousing rendition of “Who let the Dawgs out.”

18. Texas Christian (7-1) In wake of loss to San Jose State, BCS bowl men respectfully say, “We’ll TCU later.”

19. Mississippi State (6-2) No, Sherrill will not take over at Alabama during halftime of Saturday’s game.

20. Kansas State (8-2) Wildcats prepare for Nebraska by yanking face mask of scout team’s quarterback.

21. Michigan (6-3) The good news is Northwestern is off the schedule until 2003.

22. Auburn (7-2) Team promises to take it easy on Alabama this year . . . yeah, right.

23. Texas A&M; (7-2) I’s safe to say the Aggies have not forgotten last year’s 51-6 loss to Oklahoma.

24. UCLA (6-3) This week, pranksters Lavin and Malone inadvertently dial into Toledo’s sideline headset.

25. Louisiana State (6-3) It appears Nick Saban may stick around awhile in Baton Rouge.