L.A. Commuters Are Used to Hearing Squealing, But It’s Usually Just Tires

On KNX-1070 radio, Rich Roberts heard a bulletin about rush-hour traffic held up by a four-legged creature usually found on farms. It had fallen off a truck “and is running around in lanes,” KNX said. First PigAlert I’ve heard in a while.

Speaking of bacon: Researching the mystery “Good Morning, Heartache,” coauthor John Morgan Wilson found this in a syndicated column by James Bacon: “A movie star who lives in a house costing under $100,000 is either a has-been or a penny-pinching oddball.” Well it was more of a daring statement when written, in 1965.

Back to the weird world of animals (cont.): The LAPD received a 911 call from a “man in backyard, face to face with a black panther.” About 10 minutes later, a responding officer announced it was just a kitty. A kitty that probably needed to go on a diet. But a kitty, nevertheless.

Merry surf: It was a dark, drizzly day on Zuma Beach when lifeguard Nick Steers snapped a couple who were snapping a shot for a Christmas card (see photo).

“He [Steers] knew it had to be another lifeguard,” said Brenda McLaughlin of Woodland Hills, referring to husband Thomas’ onetime occupation. That’s their son, Christopher (the John Elway look-alike), holding their baby daughter Shannon.

Drool on for old SC! When Mrs. Only in L.A. picked out a too-cute USC tot’s guide (see photo), the clerk in the bookstore actually groaned.

“It’s just for a joke,” my wife explained.

“Oh,” the clerk said, sounding relieved. “That’s the only reason people are buying it.” My wife didn’t ask the clerk if she was a UCLA grad.

Incidentally ... : Mrs. Only doesn’t really follow football. So when she gave me the book she wasn’t implying that Trojan alums, such as myself, are a bunch of crybabies for complaining about the school’s exclusion from the Sugar Bowl championship game.

While we’re on the subject of college: Who needs it? Especially medical school. R. Mulligan of Hawthorne noticed an opportunity for any amateur to become a doctor for a day, or longer (see accompanying).

miscelLAny: As you may know, it was the bowl championship series (BCS) computer system that rejected No. 1-ranked USC.

And Trojan fan Lance Hill found an appropriately named website, even if it’s really for unrelated software: bcs-oops.org.uk.