He Warms Up to Clippers, but Feeling Is Not Mutual

This is a Lakers’ town, and when you choose to write about the Clippers, the response is usually, “why?” as in why waste your time?

They disappoint more than they win, and when magic does strike on occasion, as it did two years ago for a fun-filled stretch, you know the Clippers eventually will self-destruct. And they did.

But here I was on Monday night in Staples Center when I could have been home with the wife watching Lisa Guerrero, willing to give the Clippers another try, although the team’s best and most cooperative player, Elton Brand, is sidelined.

Not much left to embrace. Remember, I made a point of telling owner Donald Sterling not to touch me last season.

I went to the Clippers’ locker room before the game and asked Glen Rice about the difference of playing in this town for the Clippers as opposed to the Lakers, and he said, “I refuse to answer that.” If I wanted to get the cold shoulder I could have stayed home, but I didn’t think it was a good idea to say anything about “the wife” around Rice.

I told Rice, “let me write that down,” when he said he wouldn’t answer, and he fired back, “I don’t do interviews before a game.” You can just imagine the line of reporters down the hall waiting for their chance to interview a Clipper before a game.

“Talk to me after the game,” Rice said, and I told him, “I never stay to the end of a Clippers’ game.” He understood, and answered my question.

I moved to team captain Corey Maggette. I was all over then-coach Alvin Gentry to increase Maggette’s playing time a couple of years ago -- maybe his biggest fan in town before anyone else, but when I approached him, he said, “Oh, you’re that dude. I don’t talk to you.”

He didn’t explain further, which left me wondering if he was related to Mike Garrett or Justine Henin-Hardenne. Or worse. “Are you going Kevin Brown on me?” I asked, and it became apparent I was talking too fast for him.

“Huh?” he said.

I asked a question, and he turned away to teammate Keyon Dooling and talked to him. When he stopped, I asked another question and he went back to Dooling. I got the impression from Dooling it was a new experience to have Maggette so interested in him. No matter what I said, Maggette reacted as if it went right over his head.

“Maybe they felt something negative from you in the past,” Coach Mike Dunleavy said, “and it’s like, ‘watch out, here he comes.’ ”

Now where would they get that idea? I can’t imagine any of these guys are dating any of the Sparks or hanging out with the Mission Bay Shrimp.

I’ve talked to Maggette once in my life, and that was last year when he couldn’t put two coherent sentences together, so I moved on to Michael Olowokandi. I had no idea he took it so hard when I moved on to Olowokandi.

You’d think a team such as the Clippers with so few marketable players would do everything it could to showcase its personalities -- especially when the NBA mandates the locker room be open for 45 minutes before a game for that purpose. I mean, can you name the Clippers’ starting five? Can you name five Clippers?

Clippers’ PR does what it can. The team put out a release announcing players would be handing out Thanksgiving food baskets this week. I happened to notice, however, that none of their so-called stars -- Maggette, Quentin Richardson, Brand or Rice -- were participating. I had no idea Bobby Simmons was on the team until I learned he’ll be passing out turkeys.

“That’s going to change next year,” Dunleavy said. “Next year we’re all going to do something together.”

It’s always next year with the Clippers.

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THE CLIPPERS played Houston on Monday night -- I left before it was over.

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THE KINGS announced that the first 500 turkeys showing up today at 3 at Staples Center, oh sorry, the first 500 hockey fans carrying frozen turkeys -- as if there’s a difference -- will receive two free tickets to tonight’s game with New Jersey.

The Devils won the Stanley Cup, and now it only costs a frozen turkey to watch them perform, which gives you a clue of the state of hockey.

I called the Kings and wanted to know what happens if 505 fans show up with turkeys, and Jeff Moeller, the PR guy said, “I’ll personally give them my tickets,” and what does that tell you about the sport when the PR guy for the hockey team is looking for any excuse he can find to give away his tickets.

Moeller said the turkeys will be given to the needy, and there is no minimum or maximum to poundage, with the better seats going to “those fans who buy their turkeys from the store where the Grocery Store Bagger works.”

I don’t know where he got the idea the Bagger works.

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THE CHARGERS have lost 16 of the last 20 games under Marty Schottenheimer. What would the team’s record be if it didn’t have a coach?

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KEYSHAWN JOHNSON appeared on Fox on Sunday, and trying to sound somewhat contrite, he said, “I’d get on a private jet tonight and go right back,” to Tampa. I’d be more impressed if he had said he’d fly middle-seat coach.

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TODAY’S LAST word comes in e-mail from Giles and Joyce:

“I hope you realize your column hurts the players, coaches and supporters and makes the task of re-establishing a competitive [UCLA] program even more difficult. Perhaps some constructive criticism instead of fair-weather attempts at humor would be a start. I would appreciate a reply; I’d like to know what your smart-aleck trash Last Word one liner would be.”

Fight on!

T.J. Simers can be reached at [email protected].