A Foregone Conclusion Is No Fun in Baseball

I should be working, but there’s a TV to my left and a TV to my right and a third one off in the distance, and they’re all tuned in to the Angels. The office TVs historically have been reserved for high-speed freeway chases (we love ‘em!), but today it’s all Angels, all the time.

Get used to it. It’s only Opening Day, but it’s already clear that this season everybody will be tuned in to the Angels. You may not hear a negative thing said about them all year.

Hey, there’s an Angels home run in the 2nd inning. Way to go, Molina.

Two years ago, on the eve of the 2002 season, I wrote that the Angels looked as good as the Diamondbacks, who had won the World Series the previous season. That was a prediction worth making because the Angels had never won a pennant, much less the World Series. When our boys went on to win the World Series seven months later, I had no choice but to proclaim myself a genius.

Whoa! Glaus just parked one in the centerfield seats.

We have a problem with this year’s team, however. It looks so good that it’s taken all the fun out of predicting. Picking the Angels to do well is like predicting that it might get warm this summer.

Still, a baseball fan like myself wants to stick his neck out. The essence of sports is seeing whether a team or player meets expectations or falls flat. That’s why they play the games.

These Angels don’t give me much wiggle room. Like an athlete, I’ve had to dig deep. My original thought was to predict that the Angels wouldn’t trail in a single inning all season. However, when a friend pointed out that meant they’d go undefeated, I had to modify.

So here it is: The Angels will win their division wire-to-wire.

That’s right, sports fans, I’m saying they won’t spend a single day this season out of first place. If memory serves, that’s only been done a handful of times -- if that -- in major league baseball history, so it’s a daring, maybe even goofy prediction.

To show how thin my wire is, if they lose the game I’m watching now, the prediction will be out the window on the first day of the season.

Hey! Glaus has hit a second home run to give the Angels a big lead!

See how easy this is going to be?

But consider this: Do you, Angel fans, want it to be this easy? Remember how much fun the stretch drive was in ‘02? The absolute delirium that engulfed the stadium during the playoffs? How David Eckstein resembled your nephew on a tee-ball team?

It won’t be the same with this team. Owner Arte Moreno spent tons of money to bring in stars, but it cost us old friends like Scott Spiezio. Sure, you like your new Lexus, but don’t you speak more fondly of that beat-up old Volkswagen you drove into the ground when you had no dough?

It’ll be fun to have a winner on our hands, but do you really want the team to be in first place all season?

Wow. Vladimir just drove in a couple more runs.

See what I mean, it’s getting boring already.

There’s a reason Cubs and Red Sox fans are such die-hards -- they’re in the annual pursuit of striving to rise above expectations and, not incidentally, to fight off local curses. That can keep you going for a lifetime, which is how long it’s been since either team won a World Series.

Both teams think they can win it this year, but if either does, their fans will lose everything that has made them such historically dramatic figures on the American sports scene.

Angel fans forfeited a chance at that kind of legacy by winning the 2002 Series.

Now, the team is taking the next step and moving into the world of big spenders where nothing counts but total success.

Final score from Seattle: Angels 10, Mariners 5.

Ho-hum. Get used to it.

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Dana Parsons’ column appears Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays. He can be reached at (714) 966-7821 or at The Times’ Orange County edition, 1375 Sunflower Ave., Costa Mesa, CA 92626.