BUZZ CLUBS

This joint is a lock

The grand opening of the Vault in downtown Long Beach was a smash. Friday’s sold-out Jonny Lang show revealed an ambitious nightclub that’s definitely ready for its close-up. The Vault is user-friendly, with great sightlines all the way around. Picture a streamlined House of Blues. Among the opening night guests were Goldenvoice’s Paul Tollett and Family Productions’ Darryl Potter, whose company is dedicated to putting on safe, all-ages punk shows. Currently Potter is promoting shows at the Rock-It club in Hawthorne and next up are D.I. and Instigator on June 19.... My new favorite hot spot is Monroe’s, a beautiful bar at the former Sloane’s bar site on Melrose Avenue. The tony new lounge is designer Fred Sutherland’s finest hour. In addition, famed Bar Marmont he-she-hostess-with-the-mostest Constance is now hosting at Monroe’s, which also boasts L.A.’s first Zen doorman, Fernando. Dressed in scarves and flowing robes, Fernando makes you feel good before you even enter the spot. Owned by Peter Garland, who also owns the popular Beverly Hills restaurant Porta Via, Monroe’s fans include such scene stars as Gwen Stefani, Andre 3000, Vincent D’Onofrio and 50 Cent.

Romping arachnids

Just in time for summer, the Spider Club at Avalon is launching Dirty Thursdays, a night of live and often wild musical acts ranging from Mount Sims -- an uber-sexy multimedia DJ-driven dance experiment (June 24) -- to the one-time performance by Nancy Boy, Spider Club creative director Donovan Leitch’s erstwhile glam outfit (July 1). Tonight’s opening features Doheny, the new rock project from Cult bassist Billy Morrison.... On Monday night, we spotted Lemmy from Motorhead and B Real from Cypress Hill hanging at the Rainbow Bar & Grill.... In more Monday news, the Room just celebrated the second anniversary of its fabulous Monday night reggae club.... Caught up with Bauhaus drummer Kevin Haskins at a recent Bollywood Follies spectacular at the Key Club. Turns out Haskins’ 17-year-old daughter Diva Dompe has her own Velvet Underground-inspired band, which makes its debut in July at the Key Club’s youth-inspired Ruby Tuesday club.... And while we’re on the subject of teenage rockers, we hear TSOL keyboardist Greg Kuehn has two high school-aged sons in the Diffs, a punk rock crew so hot they’re heading out on the Warped Tour this summer.... Summertime drink on the scene: Liquid Kitty’s “Harold and Maude Cocktail,” a tropical concoction.

Pass the cheddar

Singer Richard Cheese and his Lounge Against the Machine trio are set to perform swankified Vegas versions of rock, rap and pop hits (imagine Snoop Dogg tunes sung by Sinatra) at a free Tower Records in-store on the Sunset Strip on Wednesday at 9 p.m.... Clubbers who are itching to find that perfect vintage T-shirt should check out www.trunkltd.com. Concorde/Ivar promoter BoJesse Christopher hipped me to the groovy website, which has everything from Alice Cooper baseball shirts to girlie tanks sporting Billy Idol’s mug. Oi!

-- Heidi Siegmund Cuda