Acting Skills Are No Match for Animal Magnetism

Louis Weinstein, an 81-year-old actor, says that when he portrayed the self-deluded Willy Loman in one production of “Death of a Salesman,” “I learned to think well of myself, but not too well.”

It’s a good philosophy for anyone in the acting trade.

For instance, Weinstein auditioned for a beer commercial in which he beat out a dozen or so actors for the role -- or so he thought.

“I go to a disco restaurant to shoot the commercial,” he recalled, “and the director says, ‘Sorry, Lou, you’re still in competition.’ And in walks this beautiful woman with a chimpanzee wrapped around her. The director says, ‘It’s between you and the monkey.’ No one could take their eyes off the monkey. I knew it would get the part, and it did.”

It’s a jungle (or a pasture) out there: Weinstein is part of a free Seniors in Commercials class offered by the city of L.A. (information: (323) 931-1026). Another performer is Earl Schuman, 89, who hasn’t competed against any monkeys but did kiss a cow named Elsie in a dairy commercial (see photo).

The scene required 35 takes (read: kisses), prompting Schuman to quip: “There is a downside to the business.” In more than one sense.

Schuman recently married but, says Adrienne Omansky, founder of the seniors class, “he told his wife they couldn’t go on a honeymoon right away. He was making a Walgreen’s commercial. He played an elf.”

Showbiz (cont.): “Only in Hollywood,” said Jeanette Miller of a shop that serves down-on-their-luck thespians (see photo).

They don’t trust junk mail, though: “Here’s a very personalized address,” wrote John Goodlad of Corona del Mar, sending along a letter he received (see accompanying). “I guess they bought a mailing list that had my ‘trust’ address on it.”

Word imperfect: Kathryn Wilkens of Upland noticed a pavement sign that needed some emergency proofreading (see photo).

Flawed getaway plan: A Redondo Beach police officer observed a woman crash into a parked car, then shift into reverse and attempt to speed off. Alas, her speed was hampered by the fact that her car was entangled with the parked vehicle, the Beach Reporter said. Rather than attempt to tow the second car, she fled on foot, and soon found herself entangled in handcuffs.

miscelLAny: The crime log of the Daily Trojan reported that one recent afternoon “a suspect removed an engagement ring left unattended on a bench outside the social sciences building.” An engagement ring left unattended? Wonder if the caterer is starting to get worried.

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012, and by e-mail at [email protected].