Late-night politics: A crazy week in review

Jay Leno, on ‘ The Tonight Show with Jay Leno,’ Nov. 3

“According to recent news reports, Bill Clinton has now become an adviser to Barack Obama. Bill Clinton is giving advice to Barack Obama. Do you know who is really upset about this? Michelle Obama.”  (Reed Saxon / Associated Press)

David Letterman, on ‘Late Show with David Letterman,’ Nov. 5

“At the end of the evening, the electoral vote count was 349 for Obama, 148 for McCain. Or, as Fox News says, ‘too close to call.’”  (Jeffrey R Staab / Associated Press)

Conan O’Brien, on ‘Late Night with Conan O’Brien,’ Oct. 31

“ Barack Obama made a special stop in Chicago, so he could see his daughters in their Halloween costumes. Isn’t that nice? Apparently, Obama’s daughters wanted to be a princess and a fairy, but he made them dress as hope and change.”  (Kevork Djansezian / Associated Press)

Jimmy Kimmel, on ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live!’ Nov. 3

“This is a country that waits 18 hours on line for an iPhone. We’ll sit for three days in the rain to get Halo 2. We’ll camp out on the sidewalk for a week to get the first ticket to see a ‘Star Wars’ movie that we know is going to be crap. ... If we can wait in line to see the Jonas brothers, then by God, I say we can wait in line to elect the next president of the United States.”  (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times)

Jon Stewart, on ‘ The Daily Show with Jon Stewart,’ Nov. 5

“As soon as the results were final, Barack Obama received a congratulatory call from still- President Bush, who told him, ‘What an awesome night for you. I called to congratulate you and your good bride.’ Why couldn’t you just say wife? ‘This being an official statement and all, I thought I would make it weird. Anyway, you all should come over to my family building at food eating time. We could hang out and word trade.’”  (Ethan Miller / Getty Images for Comedy Central)

Jon Stewart, on ‘ The Daily Show with Jon Stewart,’ Nov. 5

“ Barack Obama won the popular vote by a 52% to 46%, and the electoral vote 360 to 173, so basically a 6% popular vote victory translates into a 2-1 Electoral College drubbing, proving once again the Electoral College makes perfect sense.”  (Ethan Miller / Getty Images for Comedy Central)

Bill Maher, on ‘Real Time with Bill Maher,’ Oct. 31

“I think this says it all about the difference between the two parties. McCain is campaigning with Joe the plumber, Obama is down in Florida campaigning with Al Gore. One guy won the Nobel Prize in climate science. The other guy can get a fork out of a garbage disposal.”  (Lawrence K. Ho / Los Angeles Times)

Craig Ferguson, on ‘Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson,’ Oct. 31

“ Barack Obama hit back at the charges that he’s a socialist by joking that since he shared his toys as a child, he must be a communist. To which John McCain responded, ‘You had toys as a child? I had to play with dinosaurs.’”  (Ric Francis / Associated Press)