Op-Ed: The Hillary and Billy tape: Unedited

This just in, from the archives of “Access Hollywood.” Hillary Clinton is on her way by limousine, with Billy Bush in tow, to a donor dinner …

Hillary Clinton: I’ve been trying to get a campaign contribution from that guy for a long time.

Billy Bush: He used to be great. He’s still very rich.

Clinton: I moved on him, actually. You know, he was down on Palm Beach. I moved on him, and I failed. I’ll admit it.

Bush: Whoa.

Clinton: I did try to fund-raise him. He was a Democrat.

Bush: That’s huge news.

Clinton: I moved on him very heavily. In fact, I took him out furniture shopping. He wanted to get some furniture. I said, “I’ll show you where they have some nice furniture.” I moved on him like a bitch. But I couldn’t get there. Now, all the sudden I see him and he’s like a big phony Republican. He has totally changed his politics.

[The limo pulls to a stop.]

Bush: Whoa, look at that rich guy! In the purple!

Clinton: Whoa! Whoa!

Bush: Yes, Hillary has scored. Whoa!

[Crosstalk]

Bush: It better not be the publicist. No, it’s him, it’s —

Clinton: Yeah, it’s him. With the gold. I better use some Tic Tacs just in case I start fund-raising him. You know, I’m automatically attracted to rich — I just start fund-raising them. It’s like a magnet. Just fund-raise. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it.

Bush: Whatever you want.

Clinton: Grab ’em by the wallet. You can do anything.

Bush: Uh, yeah, those dollars, all I can see is the money.

[Clinton waits in the car.]

Clinton: It’s always good if you don’t fall out of the limo.

Bush: Down below, pull the handle.

Clinton: Hello, how are you? Hi!

Hedge fund host in a purple silk shirt: Mrs. Clinton. How are you? Pleasure to meet you.

Clinton: Nice seeing you. Terrific, terrific. You know Billy Bush?

Bush: Hello, nice to see you.

Host: Doing very well, thank you. Are you ready to be a fund-raising star?

Clinton: We’re ready, let’s go. Make me a fund-raising star.

Bush: How about a little donation check for Hillary? She just got off the bus.

Host: Would you like a little donation check, darling?

Clinton: OK, absolutely. My husband said this was OK.

Bush: How about a little donation check for the Bushy?

Host: Bushy, Bushy.

Bush: Soon as a rich contributor shows up, she just, she takes off. This always happens. [Sighs.] Now, if you had to choose honestly between giving a check to one of us. Me or Hillary?

Clinton: I don’t know, that’s tough competition.

Host : That’s some pressure right there.

Bush: Seriously, if you had to give one of us money...

Host : I’ll have to take the Fifth on that one.

Bush: Really?

Host: I’ll give twice. Make a right. Here we go [inaudible].

Bush: I’m gonna leave you here.

Clinton: OK.

Bush: Give me my microphone.

Clinton: OK. Oh, you’re finished?

Bush: We both are.

Jonathan Zimmerman teaches education and history at the University of Pennsylvania. He is the author of “Campus Politics: What Everyone Needs to Know.”

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